What occupies my mind while you are drilling Part 2

So ages ago, when my blog was just a new baby back in 2007, I wrote about the things that come to my mind when I'm in pain or discomfort.
What occupies my mind while you are drilling

So anyway, I have an addendum to that. When I am in pain or discomfort all thoughts leak out of my head in a rush. There is suddenly nothing in my mind but me and the pain. I am pulling at tendrils of memory. Please, something, anything to distract me. And eventually I find something. It is always the most bizarre things. Like in the past post where all I could think of was 1 Corinthians 13. I would repeat it over and over until the procedure was done and all the infection was scooped out of my wisdom tooth socket. Now that's a good thing to repeat over and over... But most of the time it's absolutely stupid things.

These are other things I quote to myself in times of turmoil.
1.Hope is the thing with feather by Emily Dickinson This poem has always meant a lot to me. I have a Pandora charm of a bird just from it. God always leaves a remnant of hope.
2.The New Colossus by Emma Lazarus The quote on the Statue of Liberty (funny as it is that I know that) I know you probably aren't surprised. "Megan the 'sensitive' middle child always liked 'poems' you say. Why did you put poems in quotation? You uncultured last born!
3. "I love you always forever, near and far closer together. Everywhere I will be with you... "(You know the song lol )
4. Jane Eyre Chapter 27. You may recall I have a obsessive fascination with this chapter. I can almost quote all of it now. Helpful in times like these. And this one most certainly falls in the category of "ridiculous". It's the saddest chapter in the book. Like how New Moon is my fav. twilight book. Before you argue that Breaking Dawn is the best, it's not. Jacob is all like "Yeah I know your child was just born but she's mine, Bella" Ugh! That makes me so mad!
5.Musicals (Les Miserables & Wicked) Thank you God for musicals.They take the most time to recite and I know them best.

So what are these awful times when I must divert myself with the written arts?
1. Dental Work (Yeah yeah I get the irony)
2. MRI (really as not fun as you think it is) I'm surprised I didn't blog about the whole experience... maybe another time.
3. Giving blood (I am a super baby)
4, Massages

"Oh you poor thing" you say sarcastically. "What a tough life you have that massages are on your list of 'awful times' ".
Oh my friend you have no idea.

So I'll back up a little bit.

Migraines>Me

Remember the intimate connection, we are like the octopus boy on "My Shocking Story" on TLC. He has eight limbs. The extra four are from his dead twin he absorbed. Gross Huh? so that's me and my migraines. Now that I finish writing it, it doesn't really make sense.

No, I've got it. Migraines and I are like tree man from "My Shocking Story" on TLC. He's got all these growths on his body that make him look like a tree. (They are really warts) So anyways the documentary follows him on his journey where a fancy American doctor is all like "I can fix this poor Indian man. He'll be as right as rain." End of story... they grow back. It's really sad.

Yeah we are more like tree man. And I may watch a little too much TLC but you watched "My Big Fat Gypsy Weddings" Right? So awesome

okay so massages seemed like a really great idea. I'm sure some "fancy American doctor" told me to do it. I can't recall ever subjecting myself purposefully to such intense pain.

Apparently, I'm like the guy who comes into my office and hasn't had his teeth cleaned in 5o years. The kind of patient that makes me sweat and scowl and say "bloody" in my head.

That's the kind of massage patient I am. My massage therapist feels really bad but like me she knows she has to get it out and fix it or I'll never feel better. So by the end of our first appointment she's got me lamaze breathing as she "squeezes toothpaste out of my neck". She made up the analogy not me. So to keep myself from shaking or pushing her off I try to occupy my mind with distraction, like those in the beginning of the post.

And I've been back like 6 times in the past two months. I'm sad to say the data does not agree with the fancy American doctor.

So there update #1

I've got a couple more coming.

Halloween!!

Sigh

BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

This is your emergency broadcast signal.
This is not a test.
The whole world is in an Earthquake Alert
Repeat: This is not a test.


You have been warned...



P.S. unfortunate update. So I've got vertigo again.......... And I can't even look up to kiss Matt

P.S.S. How I survive
1. Having since childhood firmly believing I was a princess, I have always walked with a head held high
2. I have excellent dexterity with my toes (from my mother) so I can grab things without having to look or bed over

New Pictures

I don't know about you aunt Megan...


Precious Ben :)



Fun in a box




Britt's new baby






Mae's new trick. It is so cute she can mimic.

They're Back....

**Enter creepy music**
It comes in the night...
Knocking things over and moaning in pain
There is one thing it wants
And one thing it always gets
If you are lucky, you'll be asleep
But in the morning you'll find proof it was there...

Du Du Dum... Return of the Half Eaten Pudding Cup Monster

You are perplexed. It is only natural when confronted with an abomination such a this
You wonder :Why does it eat only a few bites and leave the remnants strewn about the house?
a. Is the pudding bad?-----------No it's delicious chocolate pudding
b. Is the monster trying to share?--------No because the pudding goes bad laying "strewn about the house"
c.Is it a booby trap laid for other monsters? If the other half drugged? No and No. There are no other monster indigenous to this region.

Does the monster ever come out in the day?
a. Sometimes but its extremely rare

Alright it's time you knew before you discovered it on your own...
I'm the Half Eaten Pudding Cup Monster. :(
"Why?" You ask wailing and clutching your heart.
A million reasons but one at a time

I eat pudding when I'm having a very bad migraine.


Not enough? Gosh who are you the question police?
I eat pudding because I'm so nauseous from the pain I can't stand and I need to eat something when I take my serious pain pill to make it stop.
There.

Why pudding? Why at night? There are like a million things you could eat instead. Pudding involves all the hassle of a spoon.
a. That was two questions. You, cheater.
b. Pudding can successful be eaten with my eyes closed.
c. Pudding is dense enough that I can eat it in the reclined position with my eye mask on.
d. My years of dental hygienist-ing have given me excellent hand eye coordination so I am mostly successful.

Why only half?
a. Because I'm super nauseous and I can only choke down half.

Matt is extremely tolerant of the Half Eaten Pudding Cup Monster. It helps he doesn't have a great love of pudding and has a great love of staying alive.

I had hoped to never transform into this monster again...
But I've been in a bad spell since Sunday. I feel like I'm living on a hairpin. Stray but a little...
So keep your pudding cups close... You've been warned.
But I've now got a membership at Massage Envy (That will be my magic. I'm sure of it) We won't discuss how much this magic costs...

Another fun Friday

Here are the pics from my Friday with Mae & Britt

She LOVES the Disney Princess Wand! Of course. She also loves eating grass & cell phones.

Happy things!

Hey look at me, I'm posting a blog about good days. Yeah. (It probably won't be funny, so don't get excited)
Ok first pictures. You probably remember. September 25th, 2011. You don't remember?
Double Rainbows!!!!!!!



Did you get that? Two rainbows!! Look closely. I was amazed. That goes up on my list of favorite days. It's before finishing my halloween costume but definitely behind seeing Sheila on the cruise.

Second set of pictures. Matt & I went uptown for our pre-anniversary-let's-get-away-so-we-dont'-kill-everyone trip. We traversed the uptown bridges like nobody's business. Ok Matt is looking at me. I'll be honest. So we went back and forth like a million times over the weekend but everytime we were at a crossroads I would make the wrong choice and stubbornly not be moved by Matt's gentle nudges. If I was dropped off in there by myself I would totally be killed my a janitor because I couldn't find my way outside. But here are the happy moments: The rainbow hallway! Are you sensing a theme on what makes me happy?




Matt's happy skip.


Later we went to Crave:A dessert bar. Super Cool!! Ok so funny story. I don't really carry a purse when we are on vacation because it's a pain. So I left my purse/I.D. in the hotel room. We get to the bar and the bouncer is like "I need to see I.D.s. No one under 21 on Saturdays. (Preface: I don't do well with confrontation. That was an understatement)
So I squeak out. "I don't have an I.D. on me."
Matt says "She's my wife." Like hello stupid bouncer let us in before I have go to all "Megan's White Knight" on you.
Bouncer says "How old are you?"
Again I squeak out "23. My birthday is april 28th 1988." See I'm really 23! Let me eat desserts. Oh never mind I just want to go home.
Well he let us in apparently he realized what an awful liar I'd be and that I must be telling the truth.
So I get an awesome creme brulee with orange sorbet.
Matt then precedes to get the only thing on the menu that comes with it's own fire... S'mores


I was concerned.

So Today: I had a level 1-3 day and what do I waste it on? Working out. I'm so stupid. I should have done something awesome like horseback riding or kitten rescuing or make dinner. But I can feel my temples starting to pulse so it doesn't seem like it will last... Think of rainbows.

Then End.