I wanted it to be you

"Sometimes I wonder about my life. I live a small life, well valuable but small. Sometimes I wonder, "do I do it because I like it or because i haven't been brave?" So much of what I see reminds me of something I've read in a book when shouldn't it be the other way around. I don't really want an awnser. I just want to send this cosmic question out into the void.
So goodnight dear void."
-"You've Got Mail"

"So what do you do for fun?"

So i am doing some charts Thursday after clinic. I'm sitting with this girl. We are making small talk when suddenly she looks over with great curiosity and pity? and asks "So what do you do for fun?". I am a little put off by the personal question suddenly thrust upon me. She is a very outgoing girl who enjoys ... different activities than me. She lives with her boyfriend and they are "practically married" but she is not yet 21. So I know that if I answer truthfully she will think me the most pathetic thing she has seen. So instead of saying " oh I really love to read. There are few things I enjoy more than watching Cinderella 3 and maybe running on the treadmill as i watch if I am feeling especially reckless. I don't really have a plethora of friends in Charlotte so I may study and have tea with Jenn" but instead I tried to think of the most exciting thing I do... took me a second. Okay everyone thinks Florida is cool so I say " Yeah I go down to Florida once a month to see my boyfriend and friends. We got to the beach and stuff around." Man it sounds lame just reading it. Thankfully right at that moment there was a distraction and the topic was forgotten. I'm sorry I don't party or drink. So most of my crazy moments involve Crook or CCDM. By the way there was a raccoon the size of a large beagle in the garage tonight. Don't worry Crook and H saved the day. Ok so that's my story.

Courtly Love

So i am doing this project for my *British* Literature Class. I have this questions that asks me to compare shakespearian love to courtly love. anyways when I wikipedia-ed courtly love it gave me this lovely formula. You are not really in love if they follow have not happened.

Stages of courtly love
1. Attraction to the lady, usually via eyes/glance
2. Worship of the lady from afar
3. Declaration of passionate devotion
4. Virtuous rejection by the lady
5. Renewed wooing with oaths of virtue and eternal fealty
6. Moans of approaching death from unsatisfied desire (and other physical manifestations of lovesickness)
7. Heroic deeds of valor which win the lady's heart
8. Consummation of the secret love
9. Endless adventures and subterfuges avoiding detection

(Adapted from Barbara Tuchman[13]) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Courtly_love

Isn't this priceless. I'm sure at least T will enjoy this. It sounds like something we would make up.

Weddings are wewhered

I have been to a couple weddings lately and they leave me with a odd taste. It is difficult to explain if you don't feel it. I do not want to be married tomorrow but I want to be in that place in time tomorrow. Confusing? Basically I want to get in a time machine and have my wedding be now. This is going to sounds terrible but I almost don't want anyone to get marrried until I do. It's only fair, right? Shouldn't everyone have to have a long term/ long distance relationship before thet are ready to get married. It's only fair that everyone else should have such a epic struggle/ battle to keep love alive as we have had. I know it's not but some couples just seem to have it so easy. But this is me being dramatic and silly. I am so happy for my dear friends who have been recently wed. I wish them more happiness that they can imagine. I do not wish time to hurry. As contradictory as this sounds, I am not ready to be married. I have not started planning a wedding and I will not for some time. I do want to be done with school though. I know when that day comes it will be with perfect timing. Just some rambling from a girl.

P.S. The title of te blog is said in a Homestar Runner voice "weddings are weird".