Books I have read recently

  • Shirley by Charlotte Bronte — I'm reading a giant biography of the Brontes "Wild Genius on the Moors" By Juliet Barker (amazing!! but I'll post on that when I finish) So I'm reading each novel as it's discussed in the book. I loved Shirley. I have to agree with the critics that it is a slow painful start and it does take about 150 pages till we meet the title character Shirley. But besides that, it is so well written. Caroline Helstone’s angst is beautiful and poignant. And knowing that the last third of the book was written after Emily & Anne died explains so much about the change in the book. Charlotte likes to fix her world by writing about it and in her version the sick heroine recovers where her sisters did not. I definitely recommend Shirley for the Bronte fan. Don’t skip it.
  • A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J. Maas --- It took me a couple chapters to really dive in but after that I was in love. I had read somewhere that it was based on Beauty & the Beast, which is great. What I did not know is that it is a retelling of one of my favorite fairytales: East of the Sun, West of the Moon!!! What a treat when I discovered that. I love that story. It's whimsical and the girl saves the day which I love love love. Sarah does a beautiful job of it and I can't wait for the next one!!
  • Miss Buncle’s Book by D. E. Stevenson —What a little treat. My mom gave these books to me for my birthday and there are so much fun. It’s a light easy read and it made me chuckle.
  • Shadow Study by Maria V. Snyder— I adore her soul finder books. I’ve been reading them for years. She builds beautiful strong women and sweeping romance. Her magic system is unique and I want to live in her world.
  • The Elements of Style by William Strunk Jr and E. B. White — A must read for every writer. Thanks to Stephen King for the recommendation. It has all those little things that I had questions about and answered them quickly and succinctly. It’s not the funnest read but it’s helpful.
  • Click of Titles to go to the book's Amazon page

Tuesday, August 30, 2011

Why my eye twitch is back...

Another sad and funny story for you.

So I've got eye twitches periodically in my fretful life. The most infamous follows my incomplete in Hygiene school (Haven't heard that epic tale. Click here. p.s. I almost/always cry every time I re-read it ) Wait don't laugh. That's not the funny part yet. Oh well go ahead.
So my eye twitches usually last a month or so.
It is a fate worse than death. Don't believe me? Think it through. You are going through your day when all the sudden your left eye lid decides it is going to start closing whenever it wants, and it's going to make all your other facial muscles nervous.
You imagine that everyone you come in contact with is staring at your twitchy eye thinking judgy-pitying thoughts at you.
But I thought I have beat the system.
1st eye twitch- Hygiene School- lasted approx. 3 months
2nd eye twitch- Migraines- 21 days
3rd eye twitch-last Thr. - 3 days
But no. It's back. Such a short dormant period... Alas!

Ok so here is the quick synopsis in memorable quotes (If anyone else was present to hear them)
"But why is it so orange?!"
"Ah I burned my arm!"
"Welcome home Matt"

Still have questions? Alright here's the long version but I tried to avoid it.

So I'm having a day that averages a Level 4 but it's a Level 2 now. Yeah. I'm all like "I'm gonna make dinner like a grown-up-real wife. And guess what in-laws? It's even going to be vegan! Yeah me, right?" No. Not right. So ages ago I bought Vegan Yum Yum the cookbook. Mostly it's more Yuck Yuck but Matt was like "let's just try to be healthy." So we try sometimes. Most of the recipes we both hate but I've spent 2 1/2 hours cooking it. So I AM GOING TO LOVE IT. Matt doesn't have the same motivation so he eats about half. (He eats half because I threatened some awful things after the veggie burger incident. We try not to speak of it.
So I've decided to make more yummy things so we don't hate them> so I don't yell at Matt> so I don't feel like an awful wife for making a yucky dish and then yelling at my husband.
But for whatever reason. Sunday-Night-Grocery-Shopping-Megan was all like "Yeah Vegan Fettuccine Alfredo."
So I start making it tonight. My procrastination and general trepidation should have been a warning. I mix all the items together in a blender to make the sauce. I love my optimism at this point. I'm putting all these foul smelling things into the blender: nutritional yeast, spicy mustard, nutmeg, paprika...cashews? I keep thinking "When all these things go into the blender, they will transform into delicious Olive Garden Alfredo but healthy." I keep mixing. I keep smiling. Any second now the magic will start. I start the blender. Any second now... Ok now. Say now right before you hiccup. Nothing? Nothing.
It is so yucky looking/smelling. The picture in the book is all white creamy goodness.
I keep shaking the blender " But why is it so orange?!"
The magic never came. I pour the potion down the sink. The magic never came? I rinse the blender. My whole life is a lie!
But even then I'm all cheerful. "It's all right, Megan. Cheer up! Every day is fresh with no mistakes in it yet!" Ah but it's not a new day...
So I grab some can spaghetti sauce from the cupboard. I let it simmer. Then all the sudden *Bing* Genius Idea. I'll make toast to go with this meal. That will save it. That will be my magic! Toast! So simple. I pull out the toaster oven and get to work! I turn the timer to toast and stare at it. The timer goes off. It's not toasted, I've been watching. I turn the timer again. "I've got time to read a little Thursday Next. I'll hear the timer."
I don't hear the timer. It is black. It is the beginning of the end. I pull out the toast and throw it away. I reach around to pull the cord and my forearm touches the toaster oven top for a moment.
"Bloody!" I yell as I pull back my precious burned arm. "Ah I burnt my arm" I yell at the toaster oven. I rush it under some cold water and pout a minute.
* I should have remembered the lesson I learned at the Nation's house. So I'm 10ish maybe and I've spent the night at the Nation's house. I assume Brittany was there. Heck when she hears this story she'll probably say it really happened to her and not me. So any ways it's morning and I want to make a Poptart in the toaster over. There is lots of stuff on the counter and I have to push it back to reach the toaster oven. But a bag of bread got left on top of the toaster oven. I start cooking. I smell a smell that is not S'more Poptart scent. the bag is burning in a massive black charr. The bread is burning. Everything is burning. Peggy is yelling at me. The rest is a blur.*
Back to the present. And I hadn't learned a thing.
Then I hear several noises.
I lift the lid of the sauce to find it runny with black chunks floating in it that are now splattering all over my face and clothes in acid rain. I've burnt the sauce.
I then lift the lid of the pasta as water boils all over the sides.
Enter second "Bloody."

Then poor Matt has to comes in at the end of all of this. We had chick-fil-a for dinner.
And my eye twitch is back.
Plus my stupid arm burn hurts but I don't even have a red mark to show for it!!!
P.S. Matt thinks it the most hilarious thing in the world that "Bloody" is my go-to cuss word.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Worst super power EVER!

So I've been blessed with many super powers (Some call them spiritual gifts. "Some" meaning me)

1. Very fast letter stuffing and other clerical skills. (I usually beat Brittany)
2. Knitting with my eyes closed (I can thank my migraines for that one)
3. Ridiculous recall of every word from every Disney movie I've ever seen (Teresa tested me on this spiritual gift, not believing. Cody was a little concerned to hear singing/yelling of Disney songs coming from her Imagination Room)
4. Cat whisperer (Matt calls this a curse)
5. Super-Imagination example: The ability to scare myself with a story I just made up and was telling to other people. (I call this one a curse)
6. Boggle skills (but now I'm just bragging)

And my newest super power.
Earthquake detecting vertigo. Yeah! It's as unfun as it sounds.
So my migraines have taken a horrible new turn of events. (Tired of my migraine saga? too bad)
I now have crazy vertigo. What is this? Until yesterday I thought it was only something old people made up when they didn't want to be reclined in the dental chair. And I secretly thought they were lying and hated them for making me stand up to clean their teeth, thus hurting my back.
So Monday night I keep waking up/ dreaming that I'm super dizzy. I think I'm imagining it. (See super power #5) But trying get out of bed, I stand up & I fall down. The world is spinning. I stagger to the bathroom. Everything seems fine now... until I bend over. It looks like the world is in a washer. Everything is turning 45 degrees to the right like in a whirlpool. Upon righting my head everything is better. I think "I can do this. Who needs to bend over or look up or to the side or turn one's head quickly in any direction? Not me. I test it a couple times. Maybe it's gone now. I bend over and look at my feet. Yep I feel nauseous and want to throw up, still there.
So I go to work. 1. I am an overachiever and hate being late/ missing things. 2. I am terrified my boss will be mad if I miss work. So I go. This whole super dizzy thing continues all day. Often I have to grab something to keep from falling over until the world rights itself. But here comes the super power part. At about 1:50 we have an earthquake. Sooo scary! But really not a big deal.
So I start to put things together. Sudden severe dizziness + earthquake tremors = I can predict earthquakes with vertigo.
Don't try to follow the logic, clearly simple cause and effect addition is not one of your super powers.
Don't try and point out that this is the stupidest super power ever; I'm very aware of it. I mean so what, it's not like I could prevent an earthquake and even tell when it would come. But I'll try next time
"So hey, I'm mostly sure an earthquake is coming sometime in the next 12 hours, so just go ahead and evacuated everything."
No? Well you can't say I didn't warn you.

So I come home and feel so bad I can't even work on my Halloween costume (Yes I know Halloween is very far away but that's another blog post). I lay in the dark with an eye mask on. Matt comes home. Lights on. Hissing like a deep-sea fish... yadda yadda yadda you know the drill.
Then this morning. Guess what? It's back. Is this still leftovers from yesterday's earthquake prediction or is another one coming? We'll find out I guess but stay close to a door frame just in case. (I think that's what you are supposed to do ...)

I call my neurologist, who can't confirm or deny my prophetic abilities, and her nurse says "Oh it's just vertigo."
Me "..."
Her "..."
Me "Yeah so what do I do?"
Her "Umm I guess I can give you a prescription for motion sickness."
Me "But what causes it?"
Her "It's benign. nothing to worry about." **side note: does anyone else realize that is not an answer
Me "So this just happens sometimes"
Her "Yeah. It will probably go away. If not it could be because the ear stones have been misplaced in your ears."
** Yes that is a quote, who knew we had ear stones? and how do they get misplaced?
Her "If that's the case we can do a procedure to fix them."
Me "Ok so I'll use the prescription. Thank you?"

Yeah so we'll see. As of now the prescription is doing very little.

Has anyone seen my ear stones?

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

She's right again

Life Moral: Mother is always right

You'd think after the billion times she has been right in the past, I would just listen. But no.
Here is the situation:
I am packing my belongs before my wedding. Deciding what to keep, give away, and throw away. The classic organizing system I've known all my life. We've done this once a year for my entire life. Sorting barbies, littlest pet shops, melanie's mall, light up jeans, Hanson posters... The list goes on. Keep, Give Away, Throw Away. Sounds simple right? Not right!
Ok so Mom & I are sorting. But this time there is a fourth category: "Leave at my parent's house" Hmmm
Clothes: keep. Plastic 4'' high heels: throw away. Life-time chronicling diaries and journals...
I am so torn. My whole childhood, prayer journals, dating years, hygiene school struggles are all locked in those journals. Giant chunks of my life that I'll forget someday if I don't remind myself. I am holding them in my hands riffling through the numerous books but riffling carefully because Mom is still in the room. No living creature has seen a page of these except myself.
What am I to do?
Bring them with me into my marriage home? Honestly, most of those memories I don't want to remember because I am much more prolific in times of hurricane- strifes than times of rainbow sunshines . And also I don't really want to remember all the things I got mad at Matt about while we were dating (Substantially founded or not. mostly not)
But throwing them away. My souls scrunches up a little at the thought. Those journals are kind of like a horcrux for me. A younger, sillier self is pressed upon the pages like an ancient flower.
So I say to mom "Hmm what to do with these journals.. I don't really want to bring them all into my married house."
"Oh you'll want those someday. You can just leave them here and I'll put them in your box"
** clarification time** "My box" is a hodge podge of childhood memorabilia. Honor roll certificates. Awana awards ( not as many as are in Harrison's box :( , poems, doodles, my first novel : How to tell if a boy likes you. Thrilling stuff.
Reader, to you this may sound like the perfect spot for my journals. Where else would they belong except by my innumerable cat drawings. Aha but you are wrong. There is one critical flaw of the "box system". They are open for public use. Public use. As in anyone in the family can riffle through whomever's box at whatever time. My lungs constrict just writing that down. My soul-horcux-journals in my siblings hands. (Brittany, I can see your fingers itching for them as I type this) . Let me reiterate no living creature has seen a page of these journals. No one. EVER. I think poorly veiled threats are on the cover of several of my journals promising a painful and lengthy death by torturing if anyone else where to even touch the cover.
This is where my siblings and I greatly differ.
Brittany: She must share her feelings or she will actually explode. For real. She tries sometimes to keep secrets and keep her feelings to herself but she can't. Not that that's a bad thing. It's actually much better than the alternative: Me
Harrison: He must also share his thoughts and feelings but mostly because he's so clever and awesome. (Britt & I have always known you were the favorite. You were our favorite too) You couldn't keep them to yourself even when Stephen King expressly forbids you to share your information, you can't help yourself. Again not that it's a bad thing. Not that Stephen King is always right.
Me: My thoughts and feeling and dreams and wishes are locked in a box, inside a chest, inside the cupboard under my left fourth rib. Don't try to find it. But unfortunately it is a box with boundaries and limitations. It is not the bottomless bag Hermoine uses. So after a while of stuffing everything down the poor box can't hold anymore and it explodes into yelling, crying feelings at whoever is nearest the volcano. I've tried to be better. But I am a natural secret keeper. No can guard my dreams and hopes so well as I.
So back to the situation. Bring them to my married home, Leave them for anyone to read, Dump them in the trash.
Keep, Share, Throw Away.
I did the only reasonable thing. I threw them away.
Inside a box. Inside a trash bag. Inside the outside trash.
Because someone might try to find them. Yes I've seen a specialist.

But now... surprise surprise guess who was right?

I wish I had them and I can never get them back. Oh well. Lesson learned. All the angsty-ooey-gooey drama probably wouldn't even be palatable now.