Mae is 1 !!

Here are some pictures of Mae on her first birthday. She is wearing the super cute outfit Laurie got her :)

This one is so funny. She doesn't really look like herself

She looks like a little doll in this one

Mae's Mom & Dad got her the best birthday present. She loves it so much

This one is not from her birthday but it's soo cute

Gilliming Christmas

Here are some pictures from Gillming gift exchange on Weds night.

Thanks family! We had a lovely 1st Christmas.

Beautiful FamilyMonster!!
Rarr


He looks like an elf in this one :)

Now presenting....

Jake the-glow-in-the-dark-dancing-boy

How her heart was broken by an empty co-pilot chair.

How her heart was broken by an empty co-pilot chair.

-A novella

Narrated by Cordelia

Note of warning: If you don't want to hear a sad tale don't read this. You've been warned.

And you're not allowed to fuss at me after you read it.

Chapter One: When the sleeping growl

At 2:15 am on the morning of last wednesday, the bed started shaking. Geologist would later track the fault line to the right most side of the bed. Megan's right leg is rocking up and down, back and forth. If one is not familiar with the natural sleep patterns of the Megan, one would not know that this occurrence is always prompted by one thing.

So here be educated:

Meg·an

   [meg-uhn]

noun

a female given name. When the subject is a middle child, married to a "Matthew", the following is known to be fact:

1. Subject is highly crafty, creative, and imaginative. If this desire is thwarted or repressed, the subject will become fretful and begin leaking glitter from her pores.

2. Subject is fueled by glitter.

3. Subject is a morning creature. Trying to force a Megan to be nocturnal results in growls and generalized anger at the world.

4. Migraines seek Megans like a crocodile to a pirate.

5. When migraines occur with nausea, subject begins to rock whole body in a repetitive movement trying to negate the circadian rhythm of the body... (See Encarta '95 for full encyclopedia entry)

Well that should bring you up to speed. So the rocking commenced and the generally extremely tolerate husband sighed in his sleep as all his future dreams that evening would take place on a boat.

Chapter Two: Wherein Frank Koppens punches Megan in the face

Upon reading the subject of Chapter Two you are probably very concerned but in some views the punch was deserved. Not in Matt's view but well here are the facts. In Megan's rocking, elusive sleep she had one vivid dream. She is in Barcelona to see the little prince, Sebastian. She glides through the airport scanning the faces for the most handsome one. And she finds him. He is as perfect as the pictures, as his mother, Tania. Megan is pulled by the string in her chest toward him, to hold the little prince. As she approaches Frank comes out of nowhere and punches her in the face, screaming "Why didn't you come to our wedding!?" Well Frank She's sorry. She regrets the giant mess that whole thing turned into but She's here in Barcelona to meet you now... So is everything okay?

After than dream, came the crippling nausea again and an extreme unaccountable anxiety. For the life of her she couldn't recall what she was supposed to be anxious about, so by the same account she couldn't persuade herself that all well.

Chapter Three: No I'm not sad, cleaning teeth is just so beautiful

The morning finally came as all morning do, as unlikely as it seems for the ill-at-sleep. Something was wrong, but she couldn't put her finger on it. Couldn't say "Oh here is the problem. This is why things do not feel right." Things progressed quickly from "I don't feel normal" to "ahh all the things hurt". Megan wanted to call in sick to work but not knowing what was wrong or if staying home would even help, she went. She began to get worried when at about 8:15 while cleaning a patient's teeth, tears began rolling down her eyes. She excused herself for a moment, wiped them away, and gave her eyes a fierce reprimand. A unrelated wave of sadness rolled over her when she realized something wasn't wrong something was broken.The patient didn't notice or didn't comment and the day wore on and ended as all days must. With the ever-present anxiety came two new friends: despair and anger.

Chapter Four: The Depths of Despair and the Mean Reds

Never heard of the "Depths of Despair" or the "Mean Reds" ? Where do you live under a rock? I'm starting to feel I should charge a tuition fee for this short novel.

the depths of despair

   [thu dep-th-z ov dih-spair]

state of being

1. loss of hope; hopelessness

2. according to Marrilla Cuthbert: "To despair is to turn your back on God."

3. one cannot be expected to eat while in the depths of despair

mean reds

   [meen rehd-z]

state of being

1. a state of being in which a person is filled with fear and anxiety with no apparent cause

2. according to Holly Golightly from Breakfast at Tiffany's:

Holly Golightly: You know those days when you get the mean reds?
Paul Varjak: The mean reds, you mean like the blues?
Holly Golightly: No. The blues are because you're getting fat and maybe it's been raining too long, you're just sad that's all. The mean reds are horrible. Suddenly you're afraid and you don't know what you're afraid of. Do you ever get that feeling?
Paul Varjak: Sure.
Holly Golightly: Well, when I get it the only thing that does any good is to jump in a cab and go to Tiffany's. Calms me down right away. The quietness and the proud look of it; nothing very bad could happen to you there. If I could find a real-life place that'd make me feel like Tiffany's, then - then I'd buy some furniture and give the cat a name!

So as you can guess having the Mean Reds and being in the Depths of Despair at the same times is just about as awful as things can be. And there is never a close enough Tiffany's... Also while all this is going on Megan is having a Level 8 migraine.

Chapter Five: The piece start coming together

Herein our heroine is trying to decide if she is dying or not, when the realization of what is happening comes upon her suddenly. The previous week Megan went to the acupuncturist (that's another tale) and the acupuncturist was very concerned about such a little thing as a Megan taking so many medications. Megan felt the same way, especially if said medicine is not actually doing anything to help. So in a genius move, she decided she would stop taking Nortriptyline. Because it wasn't helping and it meant if she got pregnant on accident her child would have mutant limbs. Matt and Megan had discussed that if they could get a guarantee that the malformed limbs would be functioning say an extra arm or a mermaid fin, they would consider it. But no one could give them that guarantee. So in one of her stupidest moments she starts to wean herself off the medicine.

Day 1: take 50 mg Day 2: Take 25 mg Day 3: Take 10 mg Day 4: Done

HAHAHAHA Yeah right.

She does a little research and this feeling like she is dying is called withdrawal. Here are all the super fun symptoms of withdrawal from Nortiptyline that can last up to 7 MONTHS AFTER YOU STOP TAKING IT.

- Headache √

- Nausea √

- Restlessness √

- Trouble sleeping √

- Vivid dreams √

- Unusual excitement √

"Super. This is really great." She thinks. She has just realized that she is a drug addict. And this thought makes her very sad. But she can't cry. Because that's giving into the madness. Crying is a symptom of the madness. Usually she is all about a good cry. But not now. Not with this. This is too deep.

Chapter Six: The little person who sits in Megan's brain

It is common knowledge that the brain is a sophisticated piece of machinery. It does many mysterious functions. What is not known by scientists, is that under the ruggae and the gray matter there is a control room where a little version of yourself sits pressing buttons. Little Megan was doing a good job running the show until April, when suddenly something broke causing severe migraines all the time. Little Megan checked every synapses, every groove, both hemisphere but she couldn't find it. She couldn't fix it. This is important because this is when she started to feel inadequate. If a different little person were in charge, Little Megan said, they would have figured out how to fix it, how to make Megan feel better. She was letting Megan down and it was killing her.

Chapter Seven: Little Megan falls in love with who she thought was an Edward but turns out to be a Wickham

Primed and ready, it is only so easy for Little Megan to give up the reins of control when someone else says they will take the burden. This is what happens when Nortriptyline enters the picture. We'll call him Nori.

He is so charming. He tells her he will fix things. She doesn't have to worry about things anymore. It's too big of a stress for such a little thing. She practically throws the controls at him. It is so nice to have company that it takes her far too long to realize he isn't helping. That he's just sitting in the co-pilot chair doing what she used to do. Nothing special. Nothing that made any difference. Nothing that fixed anything. But she needs him. She can't let him go. So she ignored the decrees of Reason and the delegates when they took Nori away.

When he wasn't there the first day, she wasn't worried. He is often a little late. She's not sure where he goes but he always comes back. He promised he'd always come back. When it starts to approach day four, she is worried. Very worried. Something must have happened. He must be in danger. She stared with longing at the chair where he used to sit. When day five rolled around, she realized he left and he's never coming back. But what worries her more is that she can't remember how to do things anymore. Nori had been there for 5 months. She hadn't done a thing on her own since then. She hadn't pressed a single button. In her despair and ignorance and emptiness she decides to push all the buttons. And when she realized the buttons she pushed cause Megan to be in pain, to wish death would come swiftly, she didn't stop pressing the buttons. It was only right the world should suffer as she. She thought romantically this must be how Bella felt when Edward left. This gave her hope to pour like acid in her wounds. That must mean he left thinking it was the best thing for her. He left but he'll come back when he realizes he can't live without her. Little Megan was able to maintain her reign of tyranny for almost four days. When Reason and the other delegates voted to reinstate Nori.

Little Megan is almost sick with joy to see him. He came back. Just like he promised. He tried to make things like they were before. But they couldn't be like that again. She wasn't the same as she was before. She hated how weak she was. She hated how she couldn't function without him. There was such anger in her heart at his betrayal and domination that she couldn't let him back into her heart but she knew now she couldn't live without him. She knew Reason wouldn't let her get over him in her own time. It was selfish of Little Megan to make everyone else suffer for her broken heart. So now she was stuck with him. With horror she realized that Nori was no Edward, he was a Wickham. And they were bound together. Did that make her Lydia? Tears poured down her face but weak as ever she let him have control again. But she vowed next time, when Megan wasn't working anymore, she'd get help from a doctor. They would help her extricate herself from Nori-Wickham. She would be free... Someday.

But here are some cute pictures to distract you from that awful sad story

Yes her shirt does say "Mae. The Last Unicorn" Guess who made it ? lol ;)

Mae Day

You can fly You can fly You can fly

Two models

She looks so beautiful in this picture. I love how blue her eyes look.

BuzzBuzz

"My head feels funny" She says.
"How so?" He asks
"It feels really full and hurts when I look up or down. But not like vertigo... Like a head full of bees."
"Maybe it's your sinuses. Mine felt like that when I had a sinus infection."
"Did it feel like a head full of bees."
"No..."
"Then this is not the same thing because anyone who had this would say 'Yes Megan it does feel exactly like a head full of bees'"
~~~~

So these bees, are really fussy. Especially when I bend up and down repeatedly, like doing laundry. Bending down to grab a shirt, reaching up for a hanger, Back down to put the shirt on the hanger... You get the drift.
This is a very unfortunate new development. I wish things would just stay the same kind of awful. I hate these new tricksy kinds.

Things have been bad lately.
Here is a fancy chart to illustrated.


Just so we are all on the same page. High Level Migraines (LV 8-10) are bad. We want that number to go smaller.
Notice how it has obstinately gotten bigger. It must be the bees.
So Matt and I have hypothesized that maybe these evil bees are making/misplacing? my ear stones.



After watching Pushing Daisies (The best show ever on television after Gilmore Girls, may they rest in peace) , I was all like "Matt I want a bee hive. I'll make honey. And the bees will love me. I'll be just like Chuck, Charlotte Charles, except I won't be undead."
Matt said "Hmm We'll think about it dear."
There may or may not have been feet stamping involved, we don't need to go into the specifics.
So I'm not sure how I did it but I've got my bees. Ha Matt!
This is not turning out how I envisioned it. Maybe you should make me more pies :)

So I start with an acupuncturist soon. I am now entering Phase Yellow of my migraine treatment plan.
Bob Allen told me to pick one with "slanty eyes and yellow skin." And of course I did that. I think Dr. Ling fits the bill. I'll keep you posted.

Phase Aqua starts in two weeks when I get a new neurologist. And force them to poke me with Botox.

...Living the Dream But in good news, surprisingly cold cucumber slices help me feel better for like 30 mins! Yeah! And it smells lovely.

Princess Mae

Opps sorry. Brittany you weren't supposed to come back into the room yet... Yes, those are earrings.

Mirror Mirror on the wall, whose the fairest one of all? Mae Okay I'll give myself kisses.

Dear Jake,

The unending bitterness that Harry Potter is not real.

You know exactly what I mean by that. It hits you at sudden, inexplicable moments and the despair can be crippling. There is no Hogwarts. There is no magic.

But even as I type the words that make tears spring forth from your eyes... I'll never truly believe it. It is in my nature to try to catch a glimpse behind the veil. It is in my nature to believe that Nessie is real. I mean come on, listen.

1. There were dinosaurs.

2. There was a flood.

3. We know at least one 'sea serpent' survived. The Bible mentions it 6 times! The Leviathan Job 41.

4. Is it really such a leap then that the Lock Ness Monster is alive. Picture it, the flood water is receding. Nessie is swimming happily, the whole world is a big lake. But the deep canyons are getting shallower. The next day she is blocked from the ocean. She can't get back. Land has divided her from life. Her prison is Loch Ness. But God must have loved Nessie because the water is so naturally murky, and full of under water tunnels that she can have a full safe life.

One last obstacle though right? How long ago was the flood? A long time. How can Nessie still be alive?

5. There are animals that live eternally. Jellyfish. The can't die of old age.

So there.

How did I get to Nessie? Oh yeah.

So even though J.K. made up Harry Potter, I am still holding out hope...

...for Jake.

You've probably realized he's our last hope.

And he's also the closest to 11.

Jake, have you noticed things happening by just thinking them? Did you remove the glass of the snake exhibit at the zoo and trap your father in there. (Everyone just giggle at that mental picture) Do you have a scar....

That fateful July wasn't fireworks, it was Lord Voldemort. How could we not realize that. It's so obvious now. I'm sorry I didn't dive in front of Jake cause then he'd have a layer of protection on him but I did dunk him in nasty lake water so we'll call it even.

Ok, Jake. When you get your acceptance letter to Hogwarts. Remember who got you that awesome toothbrush? Aunt Megan. Remember who 'let' you have x-rays taken when you got your teeth cleaned last week? Aunt Megan. Who plays video games with you? Aunt Megan.

So here's what I want.

A house elf. Just one. I'll share it with Matt.

When I was reading the books, I was all with Hermoine.

S.P.E.W. Forever. Free the house elves.

But now that I'm closer to an invalid... It would be super awesome to have someone make meals every day and clean the house and apparate me home from work and lay cold washcloths on my eyes. Maybe I should just get a wife lol. Just kidding Matt.

But Jake I'd like one.

Even though, I've yet to find real magic or a unicorn. I have seen miracles.

So you all remember my vertigo? my super power. So usually when it comes it lasts for 2-5 days. Last wednesday my vertigo started at 3pm. I sent out prayer texts and by 5:30 I was healed.

I will take the Lord's miracle over magic any day.

Here is the proof. at 5:30

That's me with my head upside down. Can't do that with vertigo.

Ben Pictures :)

Someone was determined to spend the evening fussy but Aunt Brittany wouldn't hear any of it.